Littering. I hate walking down the street and finding a piece of garbage five feet from a trash can. Lazy.

Not recycling. It takes so little effort. Seriously, practically none. And most people don't realize that you can recycle more than just soda cans/bottles.

Leaving chargers plugged in. It wastes electricity, and you aren't even using the damn thing! Unplug it!

Same goes for leaving the lights on when nobody is using them. Turn them off.

Another thing that I've come to appreciate more since being at college is walking. Walk whenever possible. It's good for you, and for the earth. Everyone wins.

Whitney Vinn. ;-)

And I called Sage Medical today about that appointment, got put on hold a million and a half times, and FINALLY when I got a person, and I gave her my name, Verizon decided to drop the call. I was like, "oh, what the fuck..." and called back. Dropped call again. Third time, being the charm, as it is popularly regarded as, worked, even though I got put on hold again, and they kept on picking up and asking how they could help. So about the third time I was like, "I would LIKE to SCHEDULE an APPOINTMENT" the woman was like, "Is this Caroline?" and I was like "fuck yes this is Caroline" and she was like "Oh! I'm sorry, I thought you had been put through to a coordinator, we only have one. Let me get some of your information and then I'll have her call you back" and I was like "fine, but I have class until noon". Haha. Hopefully they call me back. I need that appointment. Today. Bitches.

Okay, so here's my Fur Real (c) update. I've completed almost two weeks of new classes, and so far they are...alright. I will write about them. Here.

My Queer Films & Fictions class is awesome, mainly because I get to read gay books, talk about gay books, and watch gay movies for 3+ hours a week. My teacher is really young, and goes by "Jen", and wears really low cut shirts that reveal her chest and bra. It's a little awkward, but at least she's really young and not really old... So far we have read Brokeback Mountain (of course) and we just finished watching it today. Next we are reading Aimee & Jaguar, and then Maurice, Death in Venice and Oranges Are Not the Only Fruits or something like that. Yeah... it's exciting.

Next up is Identities and Boundaries, an international studies class (or so I was told). I signed up for it late, a week late, so I was intensely lost this week. I e-mailed my professor asking her if we could meet up before class at some point to discuss what I had missed, as I was confused as all hell an we were supposedly having a test today. Her response went along the lines of, "Hello Carrie, please read the syllabus and the readings thoroughly. Talk with me after class" and I was all, okay...so...how does that help me? For the test? As it turns out, it was only a quiz, and she ended up moving it to next week anyway. And she spent the whole hour and a half lecturing and explaining concepts and terms that we had questions on. It helped me a lot, and I feel better about the class in general. My professor is awesome and dresses in all black and she's really tiny and has short, spikey dyed black hair along with a piece of black string tied around her neck that has some sort of jewel or gem dangling off of it. Goth. Fo sho. And I told her today that I understood the readings better, and she stood up and threw her hands in the air and yelled "YAYY!!!" Haha. It was funny/awkward... But we've been reading Achille Mbembe's Necropolitics (politics of death). It's more of a philosophy class, so far, than an international relations class, which is where I guess I was having issues. Deciding what fucking subject I was supposed to be learning.

Go figure.

After that, I have my women's studies class entitled Sexuality in a Global Context. I've only been to one class (yeah, I skipped this week, what?), but I really liked the introductory class. It seems very interesting, and we're learning about... gays. And sex. And gay sex. :-D And straight sex too, I suppose... *sigh* Bo-ring. *Michael Scott laugh*

And then I have my Honor's class, friggin' History in a Global Context, Latin American Social Change & Revolution. My professor is basically a really angry hispanic who judges us for being ignorant Americans. I'm SORRY. I have not taken a history class since my sophomore year in HIGH school. And that was AMERICAN history. As in US of A. As in, I have no flocking clue what goes on in our neighbors to the south! But yeah. I've read over one hundred years of condensed US-Latin American relations/doctrines so far, and I'm like blah blah blah. I could really care less... I'm probably a terrible person.

Also, I'm pretty sure I have strep throat, and if I don't then I will be the dumbest person alive. I am in PAIN. Every time I swallow it's like someone rakes their fingernails down my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. And if it were just a sore throat, usually drinking shit sooths the throat, right? Right? Wrong. In this case, drinking shit hurts just as much as eating dry, crunchy pretzels. And I've been pretty dizzy lately. I almost passed out on the el this morning. But that's not a very interesting story. So I'm going to call Sage Medical tomorrow and get tossed around like a jackass because apparently, from everyone I've talked to who has been there, they do nothing to help the patient. So we'll see what happens. But I've been looking in my throat in a mirror, and it's like. RED, WHITE SPOTS, ANGERRRR. And my throat in general is pretty sore. Like if you touch it on the outside. So I'm pretty sure it's strep. I just have no idea where it came from... Whoever gave it to me is gonna die. And if I gave it to Jade, then they're gonna die DOUBLY. Yeah. S'right. Streptococcal virus, here I fucking come.

Umm. So I've been drooling a lot in my sleep. What?

I guess I don't really have much else to say. I'm fighting for a futon. FREE, brown suede, a year old from Urban Outfitter's. An acquaintance, Chris, doesn't want it anymore, and so I jumped on it. Except I backed out, thinking I'd have nowhere to put it, but now I realize that Jade's mom is coming to Chicago on Saturday, and maybe we can steal it and put it in her van.... Mwahahah. I've slept on it. It's comferble. Of course, it won't be MY bed, but for some it might be. AKA, if I ever get friends and they want to spend the night. Hah. If I ever get friends...

I hope y'all are healthy and happy. Much love, and peace out.

I promise I'll update for real soon. I've just been kinda ... floundering, getting back into the swing of things, getting used to new classes and all that good stuff. I also might have strep throat, which is dragging me down as well. So, keep your eyes peeled for that to come, along with the big switch to Friends Only.

I least look forward to... Mondays. Just because they're my busiest days, class-load-wise, and it also means that my favorite days of the week, Thursday - Sunday, have come to a close. I'd say I probably most anticipate Thursday, just because that's usually the day I get to see Jade. But, in all, it varies on a week to week basis. Monday is always the day I least look forward to, though. That will never change.

Who killed JFK so I can call my dad from prison and tell him. :-D

"DAD! DAD! IT WAS THE CIA DAD NOOOOO!!! YOUR CONSPIRACY THEORIES, THEY'RE ALL RIGHT."

Yeah. And all that good stuff.

But if there's trouble, she's got the moves. She's taking an elementary class in kung-fu.

I want to jam out hardcore to this song one day. Like, get a group of people who know it and sing it all together. Because jamming out to something solo is much less hardcore than jamming out to something in groups...

I need to sleep.

1. Comment on this post with a fandom, and I'll give you three people from your fandom.
2. Post this meme with those three people.
3. Provide pictures of your three people.
4. Label which ones you would shag, marry, or throw off a cliff. [aka, "chuck, fuck, or marry"]

( *sneeze* )

I started typing something emo, but... I lost the motivation to be emo. I really have to try at it, as it doesn't come naturally. Spring Break was last week and I had a lot of fun. It was really packed with a lot of things to do, and I didn't get done everything that I wanted to get done but... I got a lot done. Family Game Night was last night. I had so much fun, I kind of wanted to die. Everyone was laughing their asses off, everyone was in a good mood, except Aileen disappeared after a while of Apples to Apples and then a few rounds of Uno. When we moved onto Monopoly, she called it quits. Which didn't really surprise me. But anyway, we listened to Beatles records and other records, and discussed the Beatles and then were just making family jokes and laughing. Maria came home, and I loved seeing her - she always is up for a good laugh, and I'd forgotten how much I missed her rapt attention at anything and everything I say. All I have to do is "Maria! Hey Maria! *snaps fingers a few times*" and then she's looking at me with big eyes and this big shit-eating smile on her face.

When Maria first came home, she did her usual "I'm going to do everything that's in my power to make Aileen awkward" thing that she does, and I had a little aside where I was just watching my dad watch his kids be weird but happy and having fun. It was really cute. He was just laughing quietly with this big open-mouthed grin making him look like a happy turtle. He really loves us, and it smacks me in the face sometimes. He called me at 7 PM my time to make sure I'd gotten home okay. It kind of killed me to hear his voice after I had just been with him earlier today, hugging him and having him kiss me on the head goodbye and hearing him tell me he loves me three times before I walk out the door. I always forget how much I miss him, and then when we're together he's just like this quiet presence that... I dunno. I miss him a lot when I'm away.

Anyway, let's get off of that subject because I'm making myself sad. I'm probably going to Friends Only my LJ posts soon, so I'll be making a post saying to comment here if you want to remain on my friends list! I only have like 3 people who read this anyway, I might as well just delete everyone other than Jade, Ashley, Uncle Rick, Jenny, Joe, Nikki and Maria. Yeah? Did I leave anyone out?

I'm really tired. I got maybe 5 hours of sleep last night.

Turtles.

It's been a while, hasn't it? Whoops. A lot has happened, I think. And I'm not feeling particularly witty or sassy today, so this is gonna be a boring, dry, bland ol' post much like the others. I apologize in advance for this. I'm sitting in my bed in my pjs with a towel on my head, and it's 1:40 AM and I woke up at 9:30 after having stayed up till 4. But it was worth it. Because my lovely girlfriend is always worth it, and I love talking to her... Anyway. I digress.

The plan I am now putting into action as far as operation transfer goes is this: both Jade and I are transferring to Milwaukee for the fall of 2009. We will get an apartment together and split the rent. I will graduate $30,000 in debt. I've talked to my dad about this, and he agrees to the plan. His only stipulation: try to find a major that will guarantee my getting a job upon graduation. The only things left to do are, A) apply, B) find an apartment, and C) tell my mother.

I got my grades back from last quarter. Not so great. Two B+s, an A and a C. Blahhh. That religions class did me in, as it is the class in which I got a C. My GPA from last quarter was 3.1 something, and overall it's 3.275. My dad says I can do better, and to not get a C again, he doesn't care what reason I have as to why I got a bad grade. I'm pretty disappointed, but I'm trying not to let it get to me since I have another quarter that can potentially help raise my GPA.

I spent Tuesday - Sunday of last week with Jade, and it was wonderful. We're still doing really well, and things are perfect as far as we go. And that's really all I've got to say about that. :-)

Spring break in Midland for me has been maintenance week. I got here on Monday night and leave Sunday afternoon, but so far I have spent time in the doctor's and the dentist's office, and tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut. I have a new bump behind my ear where my tattoo is and, fearing cancer (I'm something of a hypochondriac), I made my mom make me an appointment. Turns out it's just built up scar tissue. I guess ink from my tattoo got below where it normally is supposed to go, beneath my skin, and my body attacked it, viewing it as a foreign substance that needed to die. Since ink can't die, and can't be expelled anywhere, my body instead decided to build scar tissue around it to quarantine it, if you will. Good job, body. Good job. It won't get any bigger. It only hurts a little if you like smash my head into the wall. And then I spent 2 hours in the dentist chair, getting my teeth drilled. Borderline root canal on one tooth because he had diagnosed a cavity back in TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN and had failed to do anything about it, much less inform me of its existence. I have only known about it since this past winter break. Fml. So now my jaw aches like you wouldn't believe, and my gums are still in pain to a certain extent. I also managed to jam my shoulder somehow, and it aches like hell all the way down my left arm to my elbow. And my stomach has been acting up recently with ulcer-like activity.

However, despite all of this, I am still relatively cheerful. I will be having a family game night tomorrow night, with a potential appearance from Maria, and then it's back to the city I love - Chicago!

So, alright. Mother fucker, my knuckles hurt. Probably from all the TYPING. What have I been typing, you ask? PAPERS, my friends. Final exam essay things, and my life has seen better days. However, because of Jade, I did not procrastinate as much as I usually do, and therefore I'm not as screwed as I usually am! How exciting is that?!?! I had a Women's Studies final paper due today (6 pages) along with another two page paper, I have an LGBTQ paper (8 pages) due tomorrow, a World Lit paper (2 pages) due on Wednesday and a Religions paper (6 pages) due on Friday. I also had an exam at 8:45 in the morning earlier today. I finished my Women's Studies papers on Thursday, started my LGBTQ paper friday, started and finished my World Lit paper on Sunday, and now I have just finished my LGBTQ paper that's due tomorrow at 5 PM.  Jeez. How exciting is that? I'm so excited. Haha. I have done this so that I can go visit Jade tomorrow, and all I will need to do is write a six page religions paper by Thursday (I got a friend to agree to hand it in for me). So far, I have written a total of... 18 pages. With another 6 to go before I am done. Is that right? Eh...

God, my knuckle really does hurt. Type through the pain...

It was a gorgeous day today, and I was very active. I returned all of my books to the book store for a total of (drumroll please) 30 dollars. Yeah. I spent at least 300 dollars on those books at the beginning of the quarter. I'm pissed. And, okay, so I held on to 6 or 7 of them to finish writing final papers, but SERIOUSLY? Ridiculous. I'm going to keep Flaming Iguanas by Erika Lopez and Another Country by James Baldwin, because I really liked those books. The other ones can bite it, as far as I'm concerned. So if anyone wants to read a gay book, hit me up, I have two. And they're both really good. :-) I also have a book of poetry that's really good. Just a thought.

My knees hurt too.

I'm pretty much just waiting for Jade to get home... *pathetic fail*

Man. This quarter went by pretty quickly. I'm hoping the next one does the same. And then I'll be in Milwaukee, finding an apartment and getting PUMPED for Sophomore year. H

EDIT: ...wow. Seriously? I totally just stopped in the middle of writing that and published the post, not realizing that I had left a thought and a paragraph unfinished. Impressive...

Yes, I believe in true love. I've found it.

You Are the Leader

You are inspiring and uplifting. You bring out the best in people, through both nurturing and challenging them. You always can see the big picture in life. You are very philosophical and deeply spiritual. You understand people, and you can look at their lives objectively. You can help others grow and heal. People feel comforted by your presence. You help them gain perspective on their lives.

Also, I finished my women's studies exam and paper today. Now all I have to do is 3 more final essays and one final exam, and then...!!! *goes crazy*

So, the past couple of days have been...stressful. To say the very, very least. Monday I ended up crying more times than I have in the past however many months combined, and Saturday night I failed so hard that ... I just haven't cried that hard in a while. Haha. The whole transferring thing was falling through, for all Jade and I knew we wouldn't be together next year, and we didn't really have a solid plan as to what was going on. I think not knowing what was going on was the most stressful thing. It wasn't so much the thought that I wouldn't be going to Madison next year - we both have tried to prepare for that  - but simply NOT KNOWING took its toll. We tried to come up with so many different possible solutions/answers to our problem that I think we wracked our brains dry. I think that's what this slightly spacey, loopy feeling is. Haha. At the near-end of it all, we have come up with a new and improved plan for fall of 2009. Lesbians In Love & Wanting To Be Happy & Together 2.0, as it were.

UW Milwaukee. Jenny is going to graduate school there starting this summer, and for reasons I'm not sure are my right to disclose, Jade will also be transferring to UW Milwaukee for the fall of 2009 as a commuter student, living at home and going to school in Milwaukee. Milwaukee Milwaukee Milwaukee. My dad's main problem with me going to Madison is that it costs maybe a thousand dollars more per year than DePaul does, but I have a ten thousand dollar scholarship here at DePaul that I would not have at Madison. So really, it would be eleven thousand dollars more per year. And instead of being fifty grand in debt (which is what I will be if I finish out my four years here at DePaul), I would be eighty grand in debt. These are both huge and substantial amounts of money, and my dad was already a little uncomfortable with fifty grand, much less eighty. His criteria was that I could not go into debt amounting to more than fifty grand. I was being kind of ignorant/naive. I was taking debt lightly. I didn't really give it much thought, to be honest. Now graduating in any debt at all scares me. UW Milwaukee is only (only, hah.) seventeen grand per year, as opposed to DePaul's thirty four grand per year. It has an international studies major, a Spanish minor, and the opportunity to obtain a certificate in international business. These are my goals. Starting salary for international studies major is thirty three grand per year. Isn't it all so...grand? *a-hyuck*.

I am satisfied with how things turned out, and I feel it was really good that I talked to my dad. I think that if I hadn't done this, I would have graduated here with fifty grand in debt, not knowing what I was getting myself into. Another perk to me moving to Milwaukee is over the summer I can find a job, and just keep it throughout the school year instead of having to find another new job at Madison. Another perk is that Jenny will be living there. Another perk is that my girlfriend will be 20-30 minutes away as opposed to a four hour bus ride. I'm hoping my dad will accept this compromise. He seemed to say that it would be negotiable, me going to UW Milwaukee, but our phone convo was him basically telling me all the problems he had, and me coming to the realization that if I graduate in a ton of debt, I will be one sad puppy.

Anyway. That's all I got to say about that. As Forrest Gump would say. I sent my dad an e-mail explaining all of this to him, and am waiting to hear back from him tomorrow. Another phone call may be in order.

( read more if you are interested? )

I think I look like Joe Cocker. Woodstock!era Joe Cocker:





I have been told I look like Veronica Lake:



I don't see it. And Pebbles Flinstone:



I see it.

I like this one better.

1. The Metamorphosis by Kafka, because I've read it multiple times and come away with different thoughts every time.
2. Flaming Iguanas by Erika Lopez, because I need to finish reading it, it makes me lol, and it has pretty pictures.
3. Timoleon Vieta Come Home: A Sentimental Journey by Dan Rhodes, because it makes me cry and is wonderful.
4. Apathy and Other Small Victories by some guy, because it's hilarious and is definitely one of my favorites.
5. The Bible by Jesus, because I've always considered reading it from cover-cover, it has good stories, and when I'm dehydrated and delusional, I'll probably need some religion in my life. 

I would also love packing in an extra backpack that is secret: Don't Tell Me the Truth About Love by Dan Rhodes, The Colour of a Dog Running Away by some guy, John Lennon by Phillip Norman (?), How To Kill A Jellyfish With A Spade by some guy and others. So many good books in this world...

In other news, I'm doing better than I was last night. I probably seem pretty schizophrenic, eh? Yeah. I'm sorry, I had a freak out moment and decided to blog about it, which probably wasn't the smartest idea, seeing as most of the issues I was having were blown way out of proportion. I'm okay, Jade helped me calm down and realize how ridiculous I was being. All I have to do is survive the rest of this week, read about three hundred pages, write a paper sometime before Tuesday, go to a Beatles' Tribute Band concert, which is going to be awesome, and kiss and hug and cuddle my girlfriend until I can't decide where I end and she begins. :-)

We'll start with the positives.

1. Move out.
2. Meet new people.
3. Take some classes that interest you.

Now with the negatives.

1. Move out, but move into a small room occupied by someone you barely know. This can be a good thing or a bad thing. In my case, mostly bad.
2. Meet new people, but those new people can't compare with the friends you've made up until this point.
3. Take some classes that interest you, but for the most part take mandatory classes in order to graduate that fuck you and destroy your GPA.
4. Stress out.
5. Stress out, but find that you can't really do anything about what you're stressing out about. This is a stressful realization.
6. Spend a lot of your time alone.

If I survive this year and by the good grace of God manage to transfer into Madison next year, I will vow never to freak out/stress out again. Because nothing can compare to what the hell is going on in my brain right now.

1. Casablanca
2. Happy Feet
3. Planet Earth
4. Across the Universe
5. All seasons of The Office, Arrested Development and Family Guy

that last one is one DVD. I swear. Haha.

And it makes me really, really happy.

I desperately need tomorrow to be here.